Editor’s note: Writer’s answers do not reflect those of the Mitchell News-Journal and are not meant to replace medical or mental health care.
Dear Denise: I love buying gifts for people and it gives me a great deal of pleasure. But, I have one sister-in-law who never seems to like or appreciate anything she receives. She never says thanks, acts disinterested and has been caught throwing out or re-gifting things we bought her. This is hurtful. Should I stop buying her gifts?
Dear Reader: Yes. Why spend your money on gifts she obviously doesn’t want or appreciate? Perhaps you can better use your gift-giving abilities to find out where she shops and give her gift certificates. If she acts the same way with those, I suggest having a talk with her, telling her you feel it is better not to exchange gifts in the future to avoid “burdening” her with items she doesn’t want. Then, use your generosity on those that do appreciate you.
Dear Denise: I just turned 50 and I have been in a funk ever since. I look and feel young, but it has hit me that I am more than halfway through my life. The sadness is overwhelming. What should I do to feel better?
Dear Reader: In today’s world, 50 is the new 30. If you look at celebrities, actors, etc., the vast majority of them are 50 or older. With modern medicine and today’s healthier lifestyles, you are still in your prime. Rather than thinking your life is half over, try to change that thinking to looking forward to what’s ahead.
Age is a mindset. I have known 39-year-olds who seemed ancient, and I have seen 80-year-olds who are young and vibrant. It is all in your attitude and way of thinking. My parents have a winter home in Florida, in a gated, age-restricted (55-and-over) community. When I visit them there, I am amazed at the youthfulness of the residents, most of them are at the least in their 70s. They have dances, play games, exercise and have a great life. On the other hand, I have known 50-year-olds who have given up on life. Instead of viewing yourself as “old,” why not practice looking at yourself as a wealth of experience and wisdom. Your life has just begun. Enjoy it.
Dear Denise: How much time after a wedding do I have before I am required to mail thank-you cards?
Dear Reader: While I have heard one can take up to a year before sending thank-you cards, Emily Post and top wedding experts recommend thank-you notes should be written within three months of receiving the gift, and others suggest even sooner. The earlier you send them, the less stressed you will feel. Plus, the gift-giver will feel more appreciated.
Denise Harrison is a Licensed Counselor in Spruce Pine. Email questions to questionsandlettersmn@gmail.com or call and leave a message at 828-467-0037. Submissions are anonymous.